STARTING A CONVERSATION
It is helpful to begin by free associating based on something you already know about the person., or ifit is a stranger find something around you to comment on, like the weather, or how late the bus is, etc…
Turn that into an open-ended question, rather than a question that can be answered in one word, eg.: “How’s your dog doing?” “How was that big trip you were planning?” “What do you have in store this weekend?”
When things get started, make sure you focus mindfully and with curiosity, and share what pops into mind in reaction to what they say.
There is no specific rule for when to introduce yourself, it will come about naturally through the conversation, so don’t worry about that.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, LISTEN!!
JOINING A CONVERSATION
First of all, remind yourself that you are being friendly by joining their conversation. You are not “breaking in” or interrupting.
When you join the circle, listen mindfully and with curiosity to what they are saying, and share your free-associated reactions as soon as possible.
You don’t need to introduce yourself unless you are asked., just stay focus on the conversation.
Show interest and be curious
Ensure there is a balance of give and take.
Be relaxed, be yourself
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, LISTEN!!
ENDING A CONVERSATION
There are no specific way of ending a conversation, it can be as simple as thanking the person(s), saying it was good to talk with them, and then moving on.
You don’t necessary have to give a reason or make up an excuse to leave the conversation.- unless there really is one.
if you find it really hard to leave, just say “I have to go”, or “i am running late, I’ve got to go”.
You can also end a conversation by asking for the person’s contact info or social media (people like to share their Instagram account) to stay in touch.
AFTER A CONVERSATION
First, congratulate yourself for having been friendly, and having had the courage to take some risks, regardless of how well the conversation went.
Ruminating and beating yourself up for imperfections afterwards only reinforces your social anxiety and lowers your self-confidence.
After highlighting the positive things you accomplished during the conversation, go over the negative ones with the goals of improving yourself, not berating yourself.
Be compassionate and gentle with yourself.
Remember that most people do perfectly well unless they are trained for it. When you start paying more attention to how others do rather than how you do, you will be able to see their mishaps.
KEEP IN MIND THAT THERE WILL ALWAYS BE POPLE WITH WHOM YOU DON’T CLICK WELL; IT HAS NOTHING DO TO WITH YOU OR YOUR PERFORMANCE, IT IS OFTEN ATTRIBUTED TO DIFFERENCES IN PERSONALITY . NOBODY GETS ALONG WELL WITH EVERYBODY!
Tips to improve your next conversation:
Train yourself to relax by using visualization, meditation, or other relaxation methods. Being relaxed is vital for good conversation.
Do not interrupt and cut in with your own ideas before the other person is finished speaking.
Maintain an open mind; everyone has a right to express themselves even if you don’t agree with what they are saying.
Try to avoid topics of which you know nothing or not enough. Stay away from animated discussions until you feel completely at ease with talking with other people.
Be prepared by staying on top of the latest news, developments and world events.
Be approachable by staying relaxed, smiling and maintaining a friendly attitude.